4 /5 Johnny Novo: Storytellers Cafe is likely the worst place for the gummies I took an hour earlier to fully take effect into my bloodstream. I was sitting in this rustic, cabin-like ambiance fighting for my life when Donald Ducks girlfriend came to our table and started interacting with us. I wanted no part of it, so I have no idea why the words “I think you’re cute” left my lips. I didn’t want to catch the hands from Donald, so I got up and went to hit the buffet.
I weaved through the wild children roaming around, refusing to make eye contact or acknowledge any of the Disney characters.
My first plate consisted of prime rib, turkey breast, fried chicken, kale salad, vegetables, and a slice of pizza. They literally have everything in here. It was so overwhelming.
The thing about me is I always forget I don’t like prime rib until it’s on the plate sitting in front of me. It’s just so one dimensional. Prime Rib just doesn’t have the juice. No motion. There is no crust formation, no seasoning, and no soul. Just a pink center. That cow is still alive damn near. I will never understand the general publics obsession with prime rib.
Everything else was middy wap besides the kale salad and pizza, so my 2nd plate consisted of only kale salad and pizza.
As I was walking back to the table with my 2nd plate, my soul barely still in my body, some music began playing loud and all the disney characters started dancing in unison through the center of the establishment. I couldn’t help but think of the people in these costumes just trying to feed their families. Crazy job to have.
As the show ended, I looked to my left and there was Donald, staring deep into my soul. I thought I was gonna have to throw a spinning wheel kick in self defense, but I slowly walked back to my table without breaking eye contact. He didn’t want this problem and I can’t blame him.
As we got up to leave, I saw Goofy. Goofy is my GUY. That lyric “Young Walt Disney Imma tell you truthfully, If you leave Mickey you gon end up with a Goofy!” lives rent free in my head, so I had to dap him up. Goofy always catching strays. SHOUTOUT TO GOOFY!
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